Biometrics - a fairy tale

It’s that time again. Brochure writing.

I think in the arsenal of marketing materials, brochure writing has to be one of the most complex. In my experience it usually takes a small army of people to produce decent copy. It’s almost always a lengthy and controversial process, largely due to its potential shelf life (no-one wants to bin a brochure after much less than a couple of years) and the sheer scale of people who will have an opinion on the matter. Think sales people, directors, end users... the list goes on. And it’s for this reason that I have long since appreciated even the tiniest hint at ways to smooth this deadliest of challenges.

Fortunately I have been following the blog posts of an ex-colleague who also happens to be a devilishly good writer. A copywriter by trade, she also produces beautifully engaging blog posts on both her running exploits and her experiences of writing. Humbled as I am by her lovely writing, I have also been lucky enough to pick up some great tips on how to bring more energy and originality to my own words.

Now you may not have seen evidence of it yet, but I thought it worth sharing a particular experiment that I embarked upon as a result of one of these tips. The idea is to work your (probably quite dry) copy into different kinds of writing, be that a fairy tale, soap opera or Shakespearean play. As all of these forms bring their own literary challenges, they help you to experiment with the language you use and also to think about your subject matter in different ways.

My current subject matter is biometric technology (‘Yikes’ I hear you say, or is that just me?). Biometrics is a weighty and somewhat complicated subject, appealing as it does to varying audiences with different preconceptions and knowledge on the matter. As someone who is relatively new to the subject of biometrics, the opportunity to have a little fun while getting to know my subject matter could not be more appealing.

In this example, I have chosen to work biometrics into a children’s story. If you understand biometrics after this I salute you!

Princess Sarah was a lonely girl. She lived all on her own in a high tower above the sea, with only the wind and the waves for company.

Sarah would watch the water lapping the shore day in, day out, wondering if people could see her. As the wind whistled her name she often heard it say ‘Dear Sarah, sweet Sarah, when will people come to visit you?’

Now Sarah was not an unpleasant child. Indeed she had once been a vivacious, happy girl. But since her parents’ untimely demise at the hands of a tree elf – a cunning spirit that could morph into any shape or size - she could not bring herself to trust others who lived in her kingdom.

On the few occasions when people had tried to enter through the steel door of her tower, she had cried and howled so painfully that her voice would carry for miles.

On one particularly sunny day, Sarah was sat on the bed in her tower, when she heard a loud bang on her door. Bang bang bang! Bang bang bang! Just as Sarah was about to shout out, she heard a lovely melodious voice drift up to her.

‘Wonderful Sarah. Do come down, it’s your long lost sister!’

Now usually Sarah would not trust a person, but on this occasion something shifted inside her. She thought: ‘This does indeed sound exactly like my sister.’ So she listened...

‘Wonderful Sarah, clever Sarah. Can you not tell that it is I?’ The voice sounded so much like her sister that Sarah could not help but look out of the window and down to the figure below.

Sarah shouted: ‘Come out where I can see you, if you are indeed my sister.’

And into the glory of the day’s sunshine stepped Sarah’s sister, her long raven locks flowing in the gentle breeze.

Overcome by joy and forgetting her fears, Sarah threw open her bedroom door and went hurtling down the steps to where her sister awaited her. Running out into the paddock she cried: ‘oh my angel sister, how I have missed you!’

Sarah’s sister turned towards her, a curious expression on her face and hair suddenly transformed into snakes. ‘Oh poor Sarah, how foolish you are. First your parents and now you – it’s time to meet your maker!’

In horror Sarah realised that this was not her sister, but a tree elf in disguise. Cowering in fear, she put her arms up to protect herself.

Suddenly and as if by magic, a prince appeared by her side. Quickly he drew his sword and put to death the evil tree elf that had been so cleverly disguised as Sarah’s sister.

Turning to Sarah he said ‘Dear girl, what have you been doing? Living in fear all this time when all you needed was one of these’. And out of his pocket he produced a tiny little camera.

‘Why Sarah, all you needed to do was ask people to look into this camera. Within seconds you could know whether the person is who you think they are or an evil tree elf. The camera sees through all kinds of disguises and looks right into a person’s eye. Eyes are sacred and cannot be faked, even by the demons of this world.’

Now the prince was handsome, but Sarah was not sure if she could trust him. So she asked: ‘How does the camera know just by looking into a subject’s eyes?’

The prince chuckled ‘Oh Sarah, whenever anyone enters the kingdom they must tell the gods who they are and a picture of their eye will be taken. The magic of the eye is matched to your given and forefather’s names, so you cannot be mistaken for another. This is what the camera sees whenever someone tries to enter your tower’

‘And the tree elves?’ Sarah said. ‘The prince replied with: ‘Tree elves don’t have souls, so pictures of their eyes cannot be taken.’

With that he scooped Sarah into his arms, took a quick scan of her eyes with his camera and whisked her off into a happier and it has to be said, securer future.

The End